Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Before Decor, Decorum!

Although I had wanted to discuss wedding d├ęcor this week, an unexpected invitation has led me astray. In breaking news, I was (okay, my parents were) invited to a wedding. Our next-door neighbor’s daughter is finally tying the knot. Now for those of you who have been to more weddings than you can count, you’re probably thinking, why is she so wound up about a wedding invitation?

Besides the fact that this is the first wedding I’ve been invited to in a decade, my family semi-unintentionally found its way onto the guest list. It then occurred to me that some of you might experience this same issue when sending out invitations.

Before we go any further, how did this accidental invite happen?

The Reader's Digest: My parents saw our neighbors out at breakfast. They began chatting and exchanging stories about their respective children. Our neighbors had the biggest news – their daughter was to be wed in July.

My mom then decided to look up our neighbor’s daughter on all the common places brides are registering these days (to be discussed at a later time!). She found the couple and promptly purchased a nice set of placemats, which was gift-wrapped and sent straight to the couple-to-be.

With electronic package tracking, it was easy to determine that our invitation arrived two days after the package was delivered. Was it coincidence or obligation?

Of course, my mother did not expect anything in return, much less an invitation, for her thoughtful gift! Our neighbor’s daughter had always been very kind to my brother and I growing up, so my parents thought it would be a nice gesture to return the favor with a small wedding gift.

At this point, I have to wonder – Brides, did this situation ever happen to you? If so, would you have sent an invitation or simply a thank-you note? What is the proper decorum in this scenario?

Truly, I believe I would have invited my the unsolicited gift givers and dealt with the repercussions if they attended. That being said, planning a wedding is pressure enough and an unexpected turnout creates stress on a day that should be focused on bliss. I welcome any suggestions you all may have on the best way to deal with this decorum dilemma!

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